Friday, September 10, 2010

"Self-Portrait in Blanket Fort" (Gregory Davidson) - Reflection

With this installation/performance, I wanted to show how I see myself, as a child stuck in the struggles of an adult world that although painfully real seems to make less sense and have less real substance than the world found in our imaginations. I intended to show myself barely fitting in my blanket fort playing alone, sitting in the waste of my adult life. I wanted the performance to begin with me crawling into the fort and lighting a cigarette, then playing with my toys until I finished the cigarette, put it out, and end with me crawling back out. The durational component didn't happen in as much of a structured fashion as I intended; I was unexpectedly shaking a lot and ended up getting my cigarette wet from the bubbles and squirtgun and breaking it before it was half done, so I ended up lighting a second one and, not finishing it, the ending of my performance wasn't as clear as I had hoped. I think the shaking, though unintentional, added to the performance and made it more successful. I think the placement of the performance, under a picnic table outside Sewall, worked because it referenced a home (the dormitory) and also, as Frances pointed out, contrasted well with the dorm since it is the most expensive residential program at CU; but I wish I could have come up with a better location. I think the performance was successful in communicating what I wanted to. Some people interpreted the bubbles and squirtgun as being gestures to shoo people away from the fort, which was surprising to me; I didn't expect that interpretation. Also, it was noted that the bubbles and squirtgun seemed to reference sexuality or masturbation, and I think the performance placed too much emphasis on that specific interpretation; I would try and change how those elements worked so that the reference was more subtle. Frances also saw the performance as referencing homelessness, and that is something that I'm struggling with right now and definitely an element, but it was a surprise to me that that came across so much in the performance as well. I think the performance being so personal to me along with it being my first one made it difficult for people to critique, and instead it became (as Justin told me) more of one that the viewer would absorb. Overall there are some refinements that I think I could make to the performance, but in my mind it turned out to be pretty successful in regards to how I intended it.

2 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed the authentic realization of this piece and although it was extremely sensitive and vulnerable I felt that it was still very accessible. It made me think of hiding and all that happens when we hide ourselves away. Wether we are forced into hiding or we make the choice to hide so much is stuffed away and not realized. I start think of all the things that happen in the "hiding stage" and the path it leads one down. It's almost like lying . . . hiding the truth of who we really are. thanks Greg

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  2. I liked this piece a lot - enjoyed finding it and then the pathos of the work - seeing you there in Sewall quad smoking then rushing to hide in your home under a table and smoke wet cigarettes and play with a squirt gun as a child might. For me the work had very little to do with sexuality and more t do with extreme vulnerability: child as adult who does not find a home in the world for whatever reasons. Yes, I saw homelessness - not necessarily your personal homelessness (and I am glad you expressed it), but homelessness everywhere -random blankets on sidewalks or by stream sides, cigarette butts, condoms, clothing - you name it these are marks of home if you have one or you don't... good work. It was open, exploratory and heartful.

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